Lies I Told Myself That Kept Me Broke and Lazy
By Christine OKelly | March 18, 2008
Last week I tore through a book that I purchased after Micheal Warner recommended it on his blog. This book “17 Lies That Are Holding You Back and the Truth That will Set You Free,” by Steve Chandler is now on my ‘best books I have ever read in my entire life’ list. This guy has an incredible writing style and is brutally honest about how he has lied to himself over the years.
His book is not some round up article that he just came up with after doing a few hours thinking about lies people probably told themselves. These 17 lies are an examination of the failures and successes of his entire life.
Steve’s book has inspired me to take a look at my own life and think about some of the lies that I’ve been telling myself that have caused me to limit myself – and particularly my income. There are many. If I wrote them all it could probably fill another book. And since my posts are long enough, I’ve decided to focus on the top two lies that kept me broke, lazy, and miserable for a good chunk of my life.
Photo by Leo Reynolds
Lie #1: It Takes Money to Make Money
It might be easier to make money if you have some money to invest. But you don’t need money to make money. You need a damn strong desire to make money. You need to take action to make money. The notion that you ‘need money to make money’ is a lie that I (and almost everyone else) grew up “knowing” for as long as I can remember. This lie stopped me from believing that I could make money outside of a 9-5 job for a long time.
My Lie
For years I was a moonlighting entrepreneur while I worked my day job. I had a few hundred extra dollars each month to invest in my business which I told myself was not enough. I told myself that I needed an investor to really get the business off the ground. While I was waiting for an investor (though taking no action to actually find one) I spent the few hundred extra dollars I did have per month “preparing” myself and the idea for an imaginary investor.
I squandered the little bit of money I did have on useless things like business cards for a business that didn’t exist, business plan building software, and things to make me feel more organized in my home office. I even squandered an entire week’s worth of vacation time from my day job to stay home and write a business plan and research places to advertise that I could not afford. None of these things I was doing were getting me any closer to actually making money. I believed the lie that it took money (more than I had anyway) to make money, so my brain didn’t allow me to think beyond preparing for an investor.
Reality
When I quit my job and moved out to the middle of nowhere with no day job income to squander on useless things – - let alone pay rent or buy food, I learned what it really took to make money. It takes a burning desire to make money. It takes focusing 99% of your energy on taking action on things that will actually make you money, not prepare you for making money. If only I had read the head slapping simple yet wise words of Timothy Coote back then I may have been better off. Tim says: “Do things which make money.” Duh. (Thanks Naomi for introducing me to this post!)
With nothing more than a $100 computer that I bought off of some couple on Craigslist and an internet connection, I started making money freelancing and quickly replaced and then exceeded the income I was earning from my cubicle job. If I didn’t even have a computer or an internet connection, I could have used the computers at the public library to do this. When there was a fire under my a$$ and I had to figure out how to make money with virtually no money or let this lie make me homeless, I figured out a way.
Lie #2: Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness
There are probably many ways to argue this point. But in my opinion, this is a lie and one that I allowed myself to believe for many unhappy years. Whoever said that money doesn’t buy happiness was either broke, or they were a miserable person who won the lottery and allowed the money to magnify their misery. But for the rest of us who are essentially well balanced, I think money can buy happiness because in our society, money can buy security and freedom and those are things that make most people pretty darn happy.
My Lie
Like the old saying goes, freedom isn’t free. It can be if you want to mooch off of the generosity of others and live without any creature comforts like I did when I hitchhiked across the country and lived in a tent on the beach in Santa Cruz for 6 months. I thought I was free, but I didn’t see that I was completely dependent on the Elm Street Mission’s free weekend dinners, the St. Francis Soup Kitchen’s soup and bread lunches, and the temperate California weather. When a huge storm caused the tide to actually pick our tents up off the sand and soak everything inside during the dead of night, I realized that I wasn’t free and I wasn’t happy.
When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was b-r-o-k-e. The husband and I were renting a room in a townhouse from a couple of college students in Boulder. We had no car. We had just rolled into town after this long and crazy hitchhiking experience. I had gone from a college student living just outside of Beverly Hills to a free-spirited hitchhiker on vacation with a bit of money in my pocket, to a homeless person who took showers at a homeless shelter and ate donuts out of a donut shop dumpster (they were double bagged!)
Reality
Now I was trying to blend back into society, pregnant, with no money, no car, and a broken sense of self worth. I was miserable and certainly depressed. I got an appointment at the local clinic for a counseling session so that they could tell me why I was depressed and give me something to fix it. After hearing my story, the two people listening to my story basically said that I wasn’t clinically depressed. They said that basically my situation just really sucked and that’s why I was depressed.
That was the first time that someone had validated that money could buy happiness. There was nothing wrong with me other than the fact that I had bought into this lie that money couldn’t by happiness and had spent the last year chasing ‘free’ freedom that turned out to be not all that glamorous.
Take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:
If we want to get past a physiological existence where we live a life of “breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis, and excretion,” we’re going to need some money. In our society, we need money to provide a safe comfortable home for our family. We need money to eat decent food that will keep our minds sharp and our bodies healthy. We need money for health insurance and health care. According to Maslow, we need to tackle this ‘Safety’ step before we can ever truly move on to becoming a person of love, esteem, and self actualization.
Your Lies
I started to write lie #3, but then I decided that I didn’t want to. I wanted to stop with these two rather than create a super long drawn out post just for the sake of having 3. Every list article has to have at least 3 things doesn’t it? I think that’s a lie and I’m going to prove it by only writing a post with 2 list items. Instead, I want to hear from you – what lies do you tell/have you told yourself that have held you back in life?
Special Thanks
I wanted to give a special thanks to Akemi who gave me the opportunity to do an interview on her blog, Yes to Me. Akemi is a self made chick who overcame plenty of obstacles in order to start her business. She is now a coach for entrepreneurs who want to learn how to take back their lives. Thanks Akemi!
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Topics: Business Development | 88 Comments »
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Well said, Christine.
I guess I have too many lies within me that, if I write them all here, I’d be crashing your comment section. . . So just one little one. I thought I had a disadvantage in public speaking because of my accent. This fear surfaced as I started my coaching business because coaching is all about listening and talking. It is a variation of the lie of perfectionism. One of my coaching friend pointed it out quite bluntly, “I understand what you are saying 99% of the time, and if I don’t, I will ask you. No big deal.” Right. There are people with much stronger accent, and they are doing their business fine. What I have to say matters far more than my accent. Some even like my accent and signature voice. Duh. The lie is in me, that is all.
Thank you for your great article.
Akemi – this is a great one!! I can think of a slew of lies I’ve told myself about why I “can’t” do public speaking! </p>
<p>I love what you say here: “What I have to say matters far more than my accent. Some even like my accent and signature voice.” One person that comes straight to the top of my mind is Stephen Hopson, who is a powerful and employed motivational speaker despite the fact that he has never heard a sound in his life.
And… thank you so much for the interview on your blog!
What a coincidence — I just found Adversity University last night and emailed Stephen, and just received his response and was reading it on the side now.
How about: “There’s no life after banking?” I told myself this lie for nine years.
Then I quit banking to pursue my passion for energy medicine. “You can’t make money doing what you love” I told myself this time.
One of the most common lies in the repertoire has been the “Either / Or” lie: I can either make money, or enjoy my work. I can either have this, or have that. Either adventure, or stability. Either business, or pleasure.
Thank you for this article, Christine!
Oh that’s a good one Tana! I believed that same “lie” – that I could either “sell out” and make money, or pursue my dreams as a writer. In my mind it was definitely an either or thing until very recently. Thanks for exposing this lie!!
Lie #3: Once I X, Then I’ll Y”
“Once I make more money, I can have more time with my family.”
“Once I get better clients, I can take a vacation.”
…
Waiting for myself to get to “point B” before I can enjoy my life has cost me too much.
Now my focus is on enjoying where I am now. It’s like the concept of “mini-retirements” – don’t wait ’till you’re successful to take a month off … take a weekend off NOW and enjoy a holiday.
Dave – I am 100% guilty of this lie. I am so glad you brought this up. I tell myself that I’m going to work my a$$ off until I have enough to travel for 6 months at a time. In the meantime, I work 7 days a week without a break until I burn out and become less productive. That’s just dumb. Thanks for bringing this up!
Life is full of lies and coincidences! LOL.
First of all, what a wonderful coincidence that happened when you told Akemi about me when she and I were already corresponding! Isn’t that incredible or what? The dots are truly connecting here. Thanks for thinking of me – I’m so glad you “remembered” me and told her about my situation.
As for the lies, oh gosh, I had to smile. For years I was hoping for some investor to take care of me and invest a lot of money in me. Sponsor me, etc.
I still have a ways to go to get over the lie that you have to have money to make money. Right now I’m in debt because I had to make an investment in overhauling my website, investing in a new demo tape and buying a camcorder among other things. But I’m happy to say the website overhaul expense has been paid in full – it took time but it happened!
I had done the demo tape because I had to put my foot down – I had to make that investment in order to show people what I was capable of doing as a speaker. And that investment is about to pay off as I just got an email from a meeting planner who just saw the video and has inquired into my services!
Great, excellent article. One last thing – you got me laughing when you said you only wanted to post 2 not 3 lies. I thought that was funny.
That is crazy isn’t it Stephen! I love how the blogosphere works.
I think it is smart to invest some money to make money if you have it. What I hate to think is that some people (like my old self) are out there thinking “I can’t do anything because I don’t have any money to invest!”
Now that I have more money to spend, I definitely invest it in tools, books, and software to take things to the next level. It’s just that there are TONS of things that we tend to THINK we need, when we actually don’t.
I think your investment in that video was a very good choice!! I saw that video and let me tell you – I was floored! It really captured your humor and your talent.
That’s money well spent unlike my choice to “invest” in business cards for a business that was little more than a name!
You rock Stephen. You have no idea how much I think about your story. You are really an inspiration!!
Like Akemi I have so many that this comment would be longer than the post. But I think the biggest lie I’ve told myself is that I have to be an expert/super talented at what I do in order to make money from it. I think a lot of people believe this one. The fact is that there is always someone out there willing to pay for your level of skill and you can always improve.
Ooooh Arwen – that’s a GOOD ONE!! Dave just gave me a virtual slap over the phone for thinking like this the other day. I absolutely agree with you on both points: 1. I think this is a lie that just about everyone tells themselves – and 2. there is someone who wants your level of service. Naomi at Itty Biz wrote a great post about this:
http://ittybiz.com/when-fine-is-plenty/
In this post she says:
“The vast majority of clients do not want excellent or amazing or The Best Ever or Jesus Himself Couldn’t Have Written It This Good. They can’t afford Jesus. They can afford Better Than They Could Do Themselves. This means they can afford you.”
Naomi cracks me up. I love reading her blog. I agree that she hit the nail on the head with this one. People want to save time and money and if you can provide a way to do both then they want you.
You should always strive to improve but lack of knowledge/experience shouldn’t be a reason to not move forward.
Totally agree with you about Naomi Arwen – that chick cracks me up. I think she has fast become the most quotable person in the blogosphere!
Christine, this was a post that really had me taking a look at what was holding me back from moving forward in a couple of areas of life.
@Arwen Taylor I think that is one thing that I keep bringing up to myself– “I don’t have enough experience/expertise to do _____” Like you said, you can always improve.
So today, I’m going to be examing some of the lies and take some ACTION.
Christine:
Wow, I totally get the energy from your last comment. Thank you so much for your enthuaism and faith in me.
The funny thing is for years I shied away from overhauling my website and making a demo tape because I was hoping some investor would magically materialize and help me finance it, just like you fantasized about it. Isn’t that something?
I finally had to say, “Look, I have to do this, come high hell or water.” And while it’s still too early for the effectivness of the demo tape, I know that the overhaul of my speaking site paid for itself (eventually).
Now what I need to do is find ways to make money in BETWEEN speaking engagements. Taht’s where the lies start coming in again. LOL.
Stephen – you could totally write a book about your story and get it published! No doubt!
Hello Christine:
Glad you liked Chandler’s book. It’s a good one for sure; as I read through my bookshelf, I make notes for various reasons . . . and, since I’ve started doing the podcasts or short readings from various books that have motivated or changed me, I found that with Chandler I simply just want to read and record the whole freakin’ thing!
He’s that good.
He IS that good! Thank you so much for introducing me to this guy Micheal!! My favorite chapter is the first one “it’s who you know” when he talks about his poor naive daughter Stephanie who actually thought the query letters she wrote to publishers about her dad’s book would actually be accepted. Of course they did, and by several publishers. That got me totally hooked!
Interesting post, Christine, and I’ll go check out the Lies book as well. Sounds good so far.
It was pretty cool to see you pick up on the Maslow theories we’d been posting about earlier this week (http://menwithpens.ca/how-maslow-can-help-your-online-business), and you’ve given a perfect example for how it fits in business.
Cheers!
That is crazy James! I swear, I didn’t even read you post yet because I’ve been a bit behind on my blog reading! That’s the second time we’ve had the same thought in a week. And I think Dave is reading Harry’s thoughts. Like Harry mentioned over at Dave’s blog, I think maybe you guys do need to put your aluminum foil hats to keep the rest of us from reading your minds!
*chuckles* I only linked because it was related and because I think the whole theory of how it applies to business works so well.
And yes… We’ve been rather known to mind read and beat everyone to the punch.
Sorry!
Christine and Michael (Werner):
First of all, HEY THERE, Michael! Nice to a connection between two of my favorite people!
I never heard of the Lies book. Gosh, now I gotta read it! I’m ordering it right now via Amazon.
Thanks Michael Werner for pointing the book out.
By the way, in connection with the “investment” I just made into having my demo tape done, I’m excited to say just after I told you about how I had to fess up and invest in myself, a new client contacted me for a potential speaking engagement in Texas! The funny thing is he already saw me present at another conference and the demo tape is a big bonus. He wants to show the hard copy to his “selection committee.” If I get this gig, the cost of paying for my demo tape will be PAID IN FULL with just one new engagement coming off the demo tape alone!
Whahooo!
Stephen – that is just crazy! It is exactly the kind of insane coincidence I have grown to expect from this awesomely insane world we live in. When you put thoughts out there, they really can be “heard” in some strange and unusual way. Kind of like James and Harry and the fact that Dave and I are reading their minds…
Christine:
Thanks to you and Michael, I just put in my order for the 17 Lies book and am looking forward to receiving it along with 2 other books (had to take advantage of Amazon’s “free shipping” offer!).
Congratulations Stephen. That’s so awesome.
What is it they say? Great minds think alike or something like that …
Wow, I just got back from lunch and what a stimulating discussion going on here!
Stephen,
Congrats for your new speaking gig. Book publishing and public speaking are two venues I’d love to proceed, and it is so encouraging to learn how others are doing. I totally agree with Christine about you writing a book of your life. That will be great.
I am learning how we can turn our perceived disadvantage to a unique advantage. Like your disability. Or my immigrant background. It can be the very asset that sets us apart from the crowd — when (not if, when) we know how to appreciate it ourselves. When we do this and take the action, the invisible power works to our favor.
@Akemi: Exactly! We can turn whatever so-called disadvantages that we might have and turn them into assets. Like my speaking despite being born deaf. I’d be crazy not to use that gift, right? Same with you. The key is how to build a story and then share it. People LOVE stories – they are like kids at heart who want a bedtime story, not some factual presentation.
@Christine: I have to agree with you my dear friend about how so-called coincidences are happening like mad between “connected individuals.” I mean wow, look at this discussion!
@Arwen: Hey, thanks for your note of congratulations. I appreciate it. Winning the video competition was pretty surreal, let me tell you!
Christine – not only was this an awesome piece of writing, it was the second kick in the butt I’ve received from you and came just at the right time.
I got the first one way back in January from you (remember? it was about how I hesitated about making my own business cards and then wished I hadn’t). Since then I’ve started a blog and I’ve defined my business ideas. But like all humans, I stumble.
Today was like a day out of Office Space. I sat in about 5 hours of meetings, where people discussed the nuances of the words “could” versus “might” versus “may”.
And then I came home to see this post sitting in my RSS feed. Sometimes of late I’ve spent more time reading RSS than working.
Thanks for the kick in the behind. The time is now. No more lies.
Brett! I love that I have had the opportunity to watch your business grow from the stage to thinking about business cards, to a live and active blog, to… who knows what you will do! It’s a privilege to be along for the ride with you on your journey and I know judging from your tenacity and the insight in your blog posts that the world can expect great things from you!
Christine, thank you. Just simply, thank you! It isn’t always easy to make the time, but then along you come with an inspiring post and *boom* I feel motivated again. So thank you for taking the time to come and see what I’ve had to say. There is much more to the story, and I am so excited to tell it.
My lie: That not being the best means not being good or even great.
Huge difference between the two. In almost every case there’s room at the top. Jane Austen was great…but so was George Eliot, and then Flannery O’Connor. And even Regency romances have their place. Zen Habits and Get Rich Slowly are both great, but so are Goodlife Zen and Being Frugal.
Fortunately I’m not trying to be Miss America.
That’s a great one Mrs. Micah… I think this stops a LOT of people. Dave told me something the other day that really got me thinking… He said that there are 300 million people just in the United States alone. Even if only 1% of those people thought you had something valuable, that’s still 3 million people. That really put things into perspective to me!
[...] 22 Useless Myths That Can Cost You Money Lies I Told Myself That Kept Me Broke and Lazy [...]
Fantastic post…again!
One of my biggest lies is that there is a “system” out there that will make my life perfect. Whether it is in the field of time management or making money on the internet I’m constantly looking for it.
It means that instead of really applying stuff from the huge number of resources I have I’m looking for the next new thing that will take away all my troubles and make my life perfect.
A
ps Just in case someone wants to point this out…I do know this is a lie
Andrew – I absolutely understand this lie! I bought into it too. After my ‘systems’ didn’t work, I gave up thinking I just wasn’t cut out for self-success. I thought my only chance at making it was to work my a$$ off for this company that would eventually go public so that I could cash in my company stocks. I almost killed myself and destroyed my family by working so much. 3 years later, that company still hasn’t gone public. Believing in this lie really did cause me to give up for several years. That’s a great one!
Christine,
I am currently in that situation. I’m spending over 3 hours a day driving to and from work to earn a lot of cash but at the expense of my health, my family and my sanity! I’m going to find a way out and soon! Your blog is so inspiring and useful – it’s helping me to see a way ahead and that’s a big deal!
Now I’m going to search around for some more lies to squash!
Andrew
Right on, Andrew.
I have a corollary to your comments that’s in a question+answer format.
Q: Which system works?
A: All of them.
Michael,
You’re absolutely right. The search for something faster, better, sleeker, shinier, easier is a mistake.
Andrew
Another thought-provoking, inspiring post.
My lie is that people my age cannot get the level of success that I’m after (I’m 23). This one basically extends to everything like people won’t take you seriously, people my age cannot get contracts that big, people my age cannot do this and that. I know I need to GET OVER IT
Excellent point Laura! Age is definitely a good lie to hide behind. Steve Chandler talks about his lie that he was “too old.” He also mentioned how not that long ago, he thought he was “too young.” What’s the “sweet spot” between too young and too old? There isn’t one. I think this is probably a lie we tell ourselves when we compare ourselves to others. Thanks Laura – you rock!
Thanks for the great post Christine, I know that I am late to the party, my RSS has been neglected in favor of income-generating activities! Heh.
The first lie is one of the most pernicious, it does not take money to make money – it takes work to make money.
I didn’t have a “job” of any kind from Oct 2007 to Feb 2008, and I was working harder than at almost any time in my life. Now I have 3 “jobs” and I love all of them and the bills are getting paid.
And I’m going to SOBCon 2008 with a little help from my readers!
Keep up the good work!
Yes Stephen! It takes work to make money! If you don’t have the money to buy the “work” that others have already done, then you just have to put in the time like you did to get it done. That’s awesome to hear that you were able to successfully escape from a regular paycheck for 5 months – wow! I’ll bet that was a huge learning experience. How can we readers help you get to SOB Con to see Liz? I want to see you achieve this goal!
Christine:
When I saw your latest comment to “Stephen,” (in my email box), I thought, OMG, what a miracle. The universe is helping me find a way to get to SOBCon08.
Then when I clicked over here, I realized you were talking to another Stephen. I thought that was rather interesting.
Why?
Because I’ve been “putting it out there” that I will somehow make my way to SOBCon08 and your response to the other Stephen was a sign that I will make it. I had to put it out there because I had been allocating my resources toward things like the new demo tape that I told you about (which cost nearly $3,000), the revamping of my speaking website (another $2,000).
Are you going? If so, that would be so freaking awesome.
FYI, Karen Putz (A Deaf Mom Shares Her World) was able to line up 4 hours worth of donated interpreting but it isn’t enough. She is trying to get sponsorship to help pay for additional interpreting time so that people like us can attend SOBCon08 and get the full benefit. Both Karen and I read lips, which would be impossible to do in a room full of people participating and fast-talking speakers.
If we’re able to line up interpreters, then the conference will be fully accessible, which would be totally awesome.
So I ask that you guys help us “put it out there in the universe” to make this all come together.
Hi Christine, thanks for the offer to pitch in, and I’d like to reach out to the other Stephen as well.
First, one thing that your readers can do to support my efforts is to go to http://www.e-junkie.com/hdbizblog and check out (and by check out, I mean purchase!) the productivity tools that I have created. There are GTD-themed calendars and Weekly Review tools available for download, all very reasonably priced. I have also written a free e-book called Project Planning in Context, designed for non-experts, that is a lead-in to a Project Planning training course (in beta).
Second, Stephen, I have a proposition for you. Send me an e-mail- stephen [at] hdbizblog.com – we can discuss accommodations.
Awesome! I just purchased: 68 Worksheets – A Review Workbook from your eJunkie store Stephen – I can definitely use these!!
Note to Stephen of Productivity in Context:
I’ve just sent you an email in response to your invitation to discuss “accomodations.” Look forward to communicating with you soon.
My arduent wish for you is that the universe will supply you with the necessary funds to attend the SOBCon08 through the purchase of your productivity tools. I sincerely wish you the best in that regard.
I do not yet have “products” to offer, which means I have to rely on speaking engagements and other means of income to supplement my desire to attend SOBCon08.
I have full faith and trust that something will come through becuase that’s how I’ve achieved all of my dreams. Faith.
Christine, you are awesome.
Christine,
I have only been blogging since last fall and I have to say that the blogosphere has definitely crushed a lie I had about bloggers.
I had no idea what a welcoming commumity there was in the blogosphere. I assumed people would be nice but what I didn’t realize is that people would go out of their way to contact and encourage everyone in whatever they are striving to do.
As I still consider myself relatively new to blogging (man, there’s a lot of stuff to keep track of!), I will be back to read many more of your posts.
Thanks for your post and keep up the great work!
Cheers,
Steve
I hear ya Steve! The incredible friendships I have made through blogging has been a welcome surprise for me as well. That said, I’m glad to have met you and look forward to reading your blog as well!
~ Christine
Christine, unfortunately I don’t think I’ve woken up to the truth yet. In some ways, I have, but in others, I’m still comatose.
take care…
My biggest lie to myself is that if I just work a little harder doing what I am doing, everything will work out and I will make the money I should be making. If what I’m doing isn’t working, why should doing it more work any better. But I fall into this time after time, telling myself I’m just not working hard enough rather than scrapping what I’m doing and trying something different.
Thanks for the reminder!
Nice post. I have been thinking about a couple ideas I have that I do need money to do, well because… I honestly need money to do them.
I have to pay coders for the projects I want to start because I don’t have the time or desire to learn how to code. imo pay people to do what they’re good at so you can focus on what you’re good at.
Either way, I liked it and stumbled as well
Great post and thanks for the mention!
I started reading your blog back in September last year, got sidetracked by a few things, had a rest, but now I’m back to get inspired by your blog again. Just a big thanks, really!
I love Maslow’s heirarchy, it helps me to prioritise what I need to look at first (always a problem in my head – too many ideas).
I’m not about to shout you out (despite loving the results between you and Dave Navarro) but you can consider the book being checked out – and I’ll see if I manage to get my brain to churn out something worth posting.
Hi again, Christine,
Like Brett above, you have also given me another well-timed propulsion to the posterior. I’m still trying to figure out, though, whether I’m being stumped by a lie or not. This one goes:
“I need a gauranteed weekly/bi-weekly paycheck and company-paid health benefits to protect my family.”
I’d like to toss that out for feedback. I know, Christine, that you have children. How do you handle the benefits issue? How about anyone else out there? Is this another lie?
Thanks!!
Joe
That’s a wonderfully valid concern Joe – and one that I think many people have. Since safety is the second tier of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it doesn’t seem logical to go backward down the hierarchy and risk safety in order for a “chance” at success.
Health Insurance:
I’ll only draw from my own experiences to answer your great question. When I first started out, I was so broke that I qualified for reduced rate on clinic visits. Just about every community has some clinic that works on a sliding scale based on your income – but that’s probably not what you want since you already have a nice health care plan. Now my kids have a very excellent Tonik health insurance plan from Blue Cross Blue Shield that costs about $100 per month each. I can cover the cost of both of their plans in a day – and I would suspect that any busy freelancer could do the same.
Regular paycheck:
Even as a freelancer, I have a very steady income! That’s because I’ve set up systems with clients to produce ongoing work. I needed this kind of stability too in order not to go insane and worry all of the time. The great thing is that some weeks I can make way more that ‘average’ just by taking on some more jobs and working more. When I worked for a corporation, it didn’t matter if I spent 40 hours there one week or 60, I still got the same paycheck.
That’s my story anyway… I’m so glad you asked this question!
I’ll second what Christine said, which was very good, and also add this – why not start on the side anyway?
I mean, I have a *very* good job with excellent benefits (government job in Canada) – yet, I’m under no illusions. Things change, and suddenly you are out in the cold.
So that’s sort of my angle on it. And I understand your concerns – I have four small children myself. Knowing that people like Christine (and others – my father-in-law, for instance as a consultant) can buy good health care plans gives me some comfort. Plus, exactly what Christine said – I have carried a cell phone for years, when it rings I have to answer it. But I don’t get paid when it rings at night, or on the weekend.
Start small, with a great idea, and persevere. You can do it.
Joe – in most occasions I feel like the health insurance thing is a bit of a cop-out. Now there are some instances of people with chronic conditions who also have children with conditions that simply cannot get insured on their own.
For most people however, it’s simply an expense and not even the highest expense you have. You don’t say, well I would be self-employed but I have to pay for gas and car insurance. Yes, the cost of health insurance rises when you are self-employed but other costs go down, and who does into business planning to make LESS money than they did before?
To Joe’s question about health insurance:
I completely understand. And there are solutions. I really need to write about this in my blog soon, but just a heads-up — find local insurance agents who handle individual health plans and ask about Health Saving Account tied to high deductible plan. I currently pay $170 for myself as premium for $2300 deductible plan. Basically, I am self insuring with stop loss limit — in case I get really sick. The good part of this approach is HSA contribution is tax deductible. So you are reducing your taxable income by contributing to HSA, and pay for your healthcare needs with that pre-tax money. And the funds can be carried over the years.
Another possible option is to see if your local Chamber of Commerce has a group plan for its members.
It takes money to make money this is 100% true one perfect example is you have to feed yourself in order to continue making money right? But you need that desire to continue earning to be able to live through the tough times.
Money cannot bring happiness. Money is a catalyst in bringing financial security and happiness. This depends on how you actually use your money to be able to bring happiness to your life and possibly unto others as well. Remember there are people too with money but are not happy because they do not know how to use it.
I can only speak for myself and for others who I’ve personally observed, but I’ve found that the old adage that “money can’t bring happiness” is simply not true.
I’ve found that money creates the ability to have a much greater degree of control of your time and how you are able to spend it; used wisely, that time can be used in pursuing things that make you happy.
More money = more/better use of time = happiness.
Christine, Brett, Laura and Akemi,
Thanks for your comments and insight. I will be checking into a number of the suggestions made here. The thing I like best this blog is the encouragement.
Joe
Hi Joe! I just wanted to jump in and say that I don’t think worrying about health insurance is necessarily a cop out – it’s a pretty huge and valid concern. When you don’t know exactly how you’re going to pay your mortgage or rent, the $200 per month for health insurance may as well be $2 million dollars.
It took me well over a year to finally feel like I could commit to things that had regular monthly payments like a car payment, cell phone, health insurance, etc. At first, I just felt too unstable financially to commit to anything. Even after I learned how to make a consistent income, I still had those fears, though they were largely in my mind.
I know it feels terrifying to walk away from a regular paycheck. I’m pretty sure that’s why most people start on their own after losing a job or after some other disaster rather than just deciding to walk away. Even if you decide to stay with your employer, knowing that there are other options allows you to live life empowered, knowing that your existence does not depend solely on your employer. That you are there because you CHOOSE to be, not because you HAVE to be.
Christine, kudos again for this wonderful article!
My Lie:
Stability only happens when I am employed full time.
The Truth:
While I was employed full time, I was constantly fearful of whether or not I will get fired or laid off. I have to watch everything that I say, every move that I make to make sure that I am not giving my employer reasons to take away my stability. I realized this was eating me up!
While I’m now transitioning out of my full time job and into – perhaps a more liberating full time job or a freelance career (it’s uncertain at this point), what I have learned is that HONESTY in your profession as well as your personal life is a lot more liberating and “stable.” Perhaps the power to be able to pick and choose my clients as well as set the rules that work for ME offers more stability than a full time job ever could. I will only find out int he next few days.
I’ll keep you posted
In the meantime, I thank you again for the inspirational blog posting!
[...] blog and emailed him earlier. He emailed me back just when I posted the interview and commented on Christine’s post for that day. Her post was about the lies we tell ourselves that effectively keep us broke, lazy, and stuck in [...]
Hi Christine – This sounds like a wonderful book. I’m definitely going to be reading it.
I love your honesty in lie one. It’s amazing how you can suddenly make money when you’re under pressure to do so isn’t it? I’m guessing a lot of people have been there. And many mega famous people claim to have hit rock bottom before they became successful.
Christine:
A quick flash note to let you know I just got the “17 Lies…….” book from Amazon. Can’t wait to read it. A brief scan through the pages revealed that it will be an easy, fun reading.
Hi Christine, I hadn’t deserted you – I had to restrain myself from emails / blogs / forums for a while due to a need for, yes, money.
Lie 1 – you are so right. I agree there has to be a burning desire to make money because without that the old “fear of failure” steps up and holds you back. Every reason for not starting is just an excuse that we use to stop us doing something and the pain the potential failure will cause. There is only one cure – ACTION.
A great post as always
[...] person” who had to hit rock bottom before going on to achieve her dreams. In this article: Lies I Told Myself That Kept Me Broke And Lazy, she describes the lies she used to tell herself that kept her in her day job. But once she was in [...]
Very good points here! I’ve told myself the “need money to make money” lie for years. I’m also a web entrepreneur on the side while I’m busting my tail at my day job. Deep down I know I can make money without money but there is that small part of me that keeps saying “for this to really take off [my web ventures], you need some cash.”
On your point #2, the ol’ “money doesn’t buy happiness” line, I’m with you on that. When someone says that to me, I don’t know what to say really. I mean, have you ever been out on a lake where people are jet skiing? I’ll guarantee you not one of them are frowning while riding. Don’t tell me money can’t buy happiness.
If I never have a ton of extra cash laying around I’ll be fine, but I know I’d be much happier knowing that the whole paycheck to paycheck life was over!
PS: Thanks for stopping by my blog and the stumble!
C-ya around
@ Cath – It is amazing how you can suddenly make things work as soon as you must! I’m glad I’ve hit “rock bottom” a few times. It taught me a lot about myself and what was possible.
@ Stephen – I’m so glad you got the book! I hope you love it as much as I do. I’ve gotten some more of Steve’s books and some audios – all are amazing!
@ Mark – Great to hear from you!! I’m glad to hear that you’ve been rockin’ out with your business. That’s what I love about blogging in this community. If you have to take a break for a while to take care of business, we’re all still here and happy to see you when you get back
@ Deron – I hear ya! I was like that for years. At least for me, it wasn’t that I COULDN’T make money when you’re working for someone else, it was that I wouldn’t make the necessary sacrifices because I was ‘comfortable enough.’ When you’re butt is on the line and you’re wondering if you’re going to get kicked out on the street at the end of the month, it is amazing how many things we thought we couldn’t do are suddenly very easy to do! Thanks for sharing – I’m glad I found your blog today!
[...] (Is anyone surprised? If you want to be really brazen, go do what the Self-Made Chick did and make a list with only 2 reasons. 2 is an unpopular number, an outcast number. 2 is the loneliest number since the number one, [...]
Biggest lie I tell myself – that I work better in the afternoon and evening.
It’s self perpetuating, because I use that lie to demotivate myself in the mornings, where I potter around and do little.
[...] O’Kelly of Self Made Chick also bought it and ended up writing a fabulous post called Lies I Told Myself That Kept Me Broke and Lazy. when I read that article, I positively had to get Steve’s book so I’ll be reading it on [...]
[...] Whoever said that money doesn’t buy happiness was either broke, or they were a miserable person who won the lottery and allowed the money to magnify their misery. Christine O’Kelly of Self Made Chick. [...]
Hello Christine,
It’s been some time since I commented. I read some of your blog again this weekend. I keep reading over and over from time to time. I’ve made some lies up recently myself. The reality is the interior design market is tough right now but I can make it out of the hole if I desire.
The loss of moving out of my beautiful office last November was tough but I’m so over it and on to bigger and better. The real reality is now it is time to kick butt. I’ve been struggling to find the right niche but luckily fo rme, my son helps me through the stuff I neglect. He pushes me to the wall. It was mother’s day this weekend but it should have been Son’s day. He’s the greatest!
Focus is the most important thing – hard to do when one is suffering from a loss and their seems like the tunnel is very dark. The more I stay on my path the better. I have great intentions and I just ask myself daily to stay focused amongst the confusion of distractions of daily living.
Wish me luck but I do appreciate folks out there like you and my son! And, his lovely wife!
Michele
Colorthemes
Man these are some powerful lies. Thanks for the advice and 20/20 hindsight that will help me and others to avoid them!
[...] does a great job communicating her ideas in a clear and inspiring fashion. In addition, her ‘it doesn’t takes money to make money‘ attitude is something all aspiring entrepreneurs can learn [...]
Definitely the quote above this says it all about you. You express this lies so well. I’m a college student and not in a good financial situation right now and i did started one company that does consulting. Suddenly we focused on making business cards, paper, a web site all this things to try to impress people and it took lots of money from us. We thought that if we didn’t had all that we were not business owners. So i share lie number 1 with you. I’m now convinced that it does not take money to make money and though i still have to make the money i will start right now to do the things necessary to make money and take out all the lies from me.
Thanks for somehow opening my eyes!!
[...] Lies I Told Myself That Kept Me Broke and Lazy at Self Made Chick [...]
Great site.Try some of these tips i found if youre looking to make a little extra cash http://www.freewebs.com/moneyincollege
[...] She does a great job communicating her ideas in a clear and inspiring fashion. In addition, her ‘it doesn’t takes money to make money‘ attitude is something all aspiring entrepreneurs can learn from. No. 47 Amber [...]
[...] does a great job communicating her ideas in a clear and inspiring fashion. In addition, her ‘it doesn’t takes money to make money‘ attitude is something all aspiring entrepreneurs can learn from. No. 47 Amber [...]
Hi,
I have always believed that you must do what you love because you love it, not with the expectation of making money… and the money will follow in due time.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is really interesting. Trying to go through my day to tell my self what I’ve been telling myself lies about.
Another very motivational post. Whenever I hear about someone stuck in a rut I’m going to start turning them to your site for advice for freelancing progression and a good kick in the pants.
[...] blog and emailed him earlier. He emailed me back just when I posted the interview and commented on Christine’s post for that day. Her post was about the lies we tell ourselves that effectively keep us broke, lazy, and stuck in [...]
[...] does a great job communicating her ideas in a clear and inspiring fashion. In addition, her ‘it doesn’t takes money to make money‘ attitude is something all aspiring entrepreneurs can learn from. No. 47 Amber MacArthur [...]