Why Comparing Yourself to Others Could Be Suffocating Your Success
By Christine OKelly | March 6, 2008
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If we only apply techniques that have worked for others to achieve success and wealth without understanding the reason why these techniques work, it is highly unlikely that we will achieve the same results. I’ve found no better way to describe the magnitude of this mistake than story of the “cargo cults.”
During WWII some aboriginal tribes saw god-like airplanes filled with hordes of goods. They saw that these marvelous god-like airplanes would appear upon landing strips after the Westerners performed a series of rituals. Naturally, they figured that if they performed the same rituals, they would be blessed with abundance.
They set up of mock airstrips, airports, offices, dining rooms, and attempted construction of western goods such as radios made of coconuts and straw. They staged “drills” and “marches” with sticks for rifles and used military-style insignia and “USA” painted on their bodies to make them look like soldiers, thereby treating the activities of western military personnel as rituals to be performed for the purpose of attracting the cargo. The cult members built these items and ‘facilities’ in the belief that the structures would attract cargo intended to be sent to them.
The Why Beyond the How
I’ve learned an incredible amount of practical advice from reading the success stories of others. However, much of the story seems to leave me feeling more confused, anxious, and unsettled than before. So many times I have pursued the shelves of Barnes and Nobel searching for some magical words that would revolutionize my life. Can you relate?
The problem is that most people will tell you the “how it works” of their success, but leave out the all important “why it works.” The “how” of the story will get you some results. But trying to copy the how without the why is about as effective as building a radio out of coconuts and expecting treasures to fall from the sky.
Let’s take blogging for money for example. There are hundreds of thousands of people putting up blogs with regurgitated content and slapping on AdSense because they read about how Darren Rowse and ShoeMoney were raking in the big bucks with these strategies.
The “how” is blogs + AdSense but the reason why this strategy works for them is that they managed to build popular blogs and generate lots of traffic to click those ads.
You Might Have A Better Solution Than All These Gurus
As I mention in my e-book, I believe that sizing yourself up to the competition while you are developing your own success strategy is probably one of the absolute worst things you can do. For one, it’s depressing and can make you feel inadequate just when you need to be feeling empowered and creative. But more importantly, it is so easy to get caught up in “how” others are doing things, that you forget to ask the MOST important question of building a successful business - why do people need what I have to offer?
What if by reusing the strategies that others have started, you are stopping yourself from developing the next great strategy? Who says that just because some technique worked for one “guru” that you can’t find a better way?
Blaze your own trail
Here’s an example of a want ad we are probably never going to find:
If you do see an ad like this - don’t answer it! The reality is that no one is going to offer us a job being our own boss doing exactly what we want. YOU are going to have to go out there and make that opportunity and then take it.
Make the opportunity by discovering ways that people and businesses can solve a problem, make more money, become more influential, enjoy life more, or reach their dreams and goals. It is very likely that the leaders in your industry have become too comfortable with the way they’ve always done things and are missing new opportunities.
The CEO of the last company that I worked for was a very smart man. Though his company had become very successful and earned tens of thousands of dollars a day, he reiterated several times in company meetings that his biggest fear was that some more passionate, hungrier person in a garage was going to come up with a better solution and take our position. He knew this was possible because he did it himself.
Progressive companies understand that they don’t always have all the answers and are willing to turn to outside consultants who can bring significant value - even if they didn’t necessarily know they needed what you had. This is precisely why you don’t need to wait for a pre-packaged want ad. If you wait for someone to come up with the need and then request to fill it, you’ve lost all power. When YOU declare why your services are necessary and then create a need for your services, you have the power of setting prices, terms, etc. But first you need to really understand “why” your solution works.
So go out and blaze your own trails! Ask yourself what services you can repackage that you already offer to add incredible value to people who may not even know they need what you have.
Here Are a Few Ideas:
- Do you understand the value of a blog and why certain blogs are successful? Think of all of the big stuffy companies who could drastically improve their communications through a blog but have no idea how to communicate this way.
- Are you great at organizing an email inbox? Do you understand why email boxes become cluttered and have a reproducible system for how to solve the problem? There are big companies out there that would pay someone to teach an in-house class to train their employees how to do this. GEICO, a huge company that I worked for, offered a class just like this. Position yourself as an expert on this seemingly simple topic, and it will be even easier to sell your worth.
- Are you a mom that has come up with activities and games that actually keep your kids engaged and occupied? Why not create an “activities program” and schedule trainings with daycare providers on your system? Do you understand why kids lose interest and why teachers lose control of a classroom? Again, Position yourself as an expert and it will be even easier to convince people why they need YOU to train THEM.
It doesn’t really matter what you’re great at - there are people who need what you have to offer. There are ways to build profitable freelance businesses from just about any skill. Instead of only looking for things that are already out there, look inside yourself and discover why your experiences are valuable and then figure out how to turn it into a business.
Topics: Business Development, Business Opportunities |
29 Comments »
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Christine,
Thank you for your words today. They are so inspirational and this is why I keep coming back here.
We are all experts at something. It is a matter of identifying that, and then doing something with it. If you can solve a problem for someone (and especially a wealthy someone!), you can do well.
I can think of several things that people tell me, outright, that I should be doing as a business. I have started on the path with one of them already - with help from your e-book. The rest will follow…
That’s awesome Brett - I’m so glad to hear that you’ve started down the path of developing one of your businesses. Keep us posted on your progress!
Well, I have to give thanks to people like you - you! - for the inspiration.
I will definitely let you know when it is “live”.
Thanks Christine. I have mixed feelings about your post today.
At one hand, you’re right. Doing what your competition does without knowing the why behind it is absolutely disastrous.
But not paying attention to competitors at all… hmm - I’m not so sure about that.
Toyota’s motto: Beat GM.
Without that motto, Toyota wouldn’t have been able to motivate all their thousands of employees that well. They had a set goal. A benchmark. And because of that motto, they became better than GM.
Without knowing what your competition does, how can you position yourself correctly in your market?
Agree Ankesh - I’m not so sure about not paying attention to your competitors at all either! What I’m saying is not to compare yourself to your competitors early in the game.
I think we’re talking about 2 different things. It’s one thing to want to beat your competitors in terms of sales numbers/search engine rankings/ratings/etc, It’s another thing to reproduce their without asking “why.” Toyota did think differently and we ended up with the Prius. Maybe if car companies would have stopped copying each other a long time ago, we wouldn’t be so dependent oil right now.
This comes from my own experience of building a freelance business. If I would have looked at all of my competitors first instead of analyzing the need in my industry first, I may have completely missed the one big glaring need that has helped bring me a steady stream of business for 2.5 years.
I find that comparing yourself to your competitors early can stifle creativity to come up with new and better solutions.
>If I would have looked at all of my competitors
>first instead of analyzing the need in my
>industry first, I may have completely missed
>the one big glaring need that has helped bring
>me a steady stream of business for 2.5 years.
Thanks Christine. Ignoring the competitors is not comprehensive thinking.
I use a 3 prong positioning approach to enter a market or launch a new product:
1. You need to know yourself and your abilities
2. You need to know what your audience needs and wants
3. You need to know what the competition is offering
Only by having a good idea of all those 3 angles can you triangulate and find the perfect niche.
Without knowing his competitors costs, Rockefeller would never have been able to run them out of business and create a monopoly.
Without using Internet Explorer, FireFox developers would never have known how bad it sucks - and create a better browser.
Visit the patent office. You’ll find thousands of patents “ahead of their times.” These are people who ignore the competition (many ignore the audience too) while creating their new widget.
Look at Segway. They took the approach of “we have no competition.” And hence suffered. They would have done much better if they would have recognized the bicycles as their competition. (Segways are super cool. But suffer from poor positioning and bad pricing.)
Don’t look at your competition to match them. But to improve upon them. Use them as the benchmark. Not the destination.
Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is… use firefox.
PS: Loved your press release slide show.
Christine
Do you know I was thinking about this this morning? So it’s amazing (and pre-destined) that I’m here reading your post
I was thinking about demand and supply - filling a need and where I fit in in all of that. Then I started thinking about what ‘I’ wanted to do and creating a space where that’s possible.
Thank you, as always, for another brill post!
Yes! That’s exactly what I’m talking about here. It comes from my last post of “stop existing and start living an amazing life.” If this is what you’re after, then it’s not necessarily about building the biggest company ever - even if that’s not what you wanted. It’s about figuring out what YOU can contribute to the world and then going out there and doing it.
Great post Christine! You always seem to know exactly what will lift people up and help them take that next step.
Keep up all the great work, and thanks again for the article!
Thanks Conrad!
Christine
One “take-away” that I have gotten from you that relates to blogging is using the word “I”
in my headlines. I don’t blog but will very soon. I do use it in articles like the one
below.
“How I Use My $91 RCA Small Wonder Video Camera To Earn Money Online.”
http://www.whoisdaviddutton.com/rca-small-wonder.html
It amazes me that newbies will put up a blog and think they are problogger by getting PLR content written for them.
—
As far as comparing yourself.Man, that is a tough one.
I say, try not to beat yourself up. Take for example, Donald Trump. Extreme example I know but Donald Trump learned from a Millionaire father.
Could you imagine having the “mindset” taught to you your whole life?
That changes a person.
One concept that comes from the Bible is “God meets YOU where you are at”.
Take Moses, all he had was a stinking stick in his hand and God used him to part the Red Sea.
God uses what you have right now.
Alright, off to my Internet space to make a living today.
Dave
David - what a smart idea for a post! The way you wrote that post with personal experiences makes me want to read it all the way through - which is not something I can say for other product sales pages!
I liked your article it relates well to my own research into an article i’m putting together called…. Spring Cleaning 101:Takin Out The Stinkin Thinkin Trash
Just like your article Why Comparing
Yourself To Others Could Be Suffocating Your Success
I touch on how people are more action oriented than they and other gurus let on so never fall into the trap of letting others call you lazy.
Even if you had left out all the great advice, the cargo cult story alone would have made it a great post. I’m still laughing!
Christine -
Another winner. Comparing myself to Tony Robbins help me back from going into coaching for 3 years.
Once I took the plunge, I filled out my coaching practice in 30 days!
Look to others for perspective, but focus on the value you add and you’ll kick a$$ every time.
@ Dave - that is a really good perspective - use others as a guide.
If one person can learn to do something, anyone can learn to do it.
And remember - you can do it better…
Hi Christine,
A friend of mine purchased your book for me and it has helped me alot with figuring out what it is that I want to offer with my business. I thank you with the passion of a thousand suns for writing it.
So now that the butt kissing it out of the way :), I just wanted to add a bit of wisdom from Zig Ziglar who also advises that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others for the simple fact that your life experiences are different. Thus any comparison would be inherently unfair. Nine times out of ten, you could become just as good as someone else if you worked at it hard enough.
He uses the analogy of people being awed by doctors and their grasp of human anatomy and medical terminology. He says and I agree, that if those peopel went to medical school for seven years then they would be just as good and maybe even better than that doctor.
Hopefully this comment wasn’t too off topic but reading this post just reminded me of that. Thanks again for the great article (and ebook)!
Arwen Taylor
Comparing yourself to others gives rise to jealousy, envy, and it can mess with your sense of self-worth. None of these are going to help you. It is ourselves we must surpass. I must admit that sometimes I feel a twinge of envy at the success of others because it isn’t my success. But I know that’s ridiculous–I already have my success, and there will be plenty more as I continually strive to surpass myself.
[…] why your experiences are valuable and then figure out how to turn it into a business… Read Christine’s full article on the perils of copying […]
Comparison is never going to help making us feel better. Instead we should use it to see what we CAN DO better than our competition.
I’ve thought a lot about complimentary services lately, maybe because I’m working at changing some aspects of my business. When we are open to suggestions and then spin them around to add our very own talents and knowledge I think we can make the biggest impact as a business owner.
In the end, it’s all about the customer.
Great post. I should be glad you are not a coach — you will be a tough competitor for me.
Keep up the good work, but don’t work too hard.
@ Garth: “Takin Out The Stinkin Thinkin Trash” - love it. Thinking is good. Over-thinking will stop you from doing anything. I used to over-plan everything. Then every time I did, something MAJOR would happen and screw up the whole entire plan. Plus - I’ve noticed that many times things that don’t work out on paper actually work out in real life.
@ Hunter: I know! I heard that story a few weeks ago and I’ve been thinking about it daily ever since. Definitely one of the funniest stories I’ve heard about. I can completely visualize the whole scene.
@ Dave: I can see why comparing yourself to Tony Robbins could stop you dead in your tracks! There is one Tony Robbins but still thousands of coaches. You can be more effective to the people who need you by specializing in a particular niche. Plus - how many people can afford a one on one with Tony Robbins!?! There’s a place for everyone at every stage.
@ Arwen: That’s a great example! We all have our own experiences and that is what makes us unique. We just have to remind ourselves that we have to go out there and have experiences (failures and accomplishments) in order to acquire that unique perspective!
@ Micheal: I hear ya. This post was born from my experiences over the last few weeks while trying to figure out a way to make my $20,000 in passive income while having an amazing life. I did a lot of “comparison” to other people and it felt empty. Then I decided “screw it” I’m better off looking within myself for the answers.
@ Monika: Agree, I doesn’t hurt at all to look at your competitors to see what you can do better (when you’re strong enough within to take a look and not get beat down with overwhelm). And when looking at them ask why they are doing what they are doing… is it really working for them? Why does it work? Do people need xyz? If so why? and how can you create a solution that’s even better. BTW - loved the letter to your dad!!
@ Akemi: lol
I love that you’re helping dreaming entrepreneurs take the leap. That’s awesome…
Thanks for another great post, Christine!
This is kick in the pants to everyone who wants the results of success but won’t put in the work. You do have to blaze your own trail and seek ways to define your unique selling position.
My most popular article to date (over 125,000 hits) had a paragraph on making money. I said that “Wealth is created when you provide something interesting, unique and valuable to people who demand it. Until then, you will be trading hours for dollars and you’ll always think you’re underpaid. “Find a need and fill it” is the old mantra and it is still quoted because it’s true. In today’s world it should read “Create a need that only you can fill.” Then you’ll be on your way to wealth. The lesson learned: figure out where there are unmet needs and figure out a way to fill those needs.”
Ron - you are a man after my own heart! These are wise words - I can see why that article was so popular. It just makes sense. I’ve spent years chasing money making opportunities that had nothing to do with my actual talents and desires and none of them ever worked. Now I’m striving to make “work” something that is not something completely separate from life. Whether you become a gazillionaire or not, life can be much more rewarding and abundant when you’re not stuck in between a work life and a personal life.
[…] Christine O’Kelly discusses the dangers of behaving like the Cargo Cultists. […]
I build websites for authors and one of the quotes I’ve heard for authors and writers is: “Write the book you want to read, but can’t find.”
I’m struck by the similarity between this and your post. It could be said in the business world, “Create the product or service that you want, but can’t find.” If you would be interested in it, then surely someone else would be. And if you’re really interested in it, then you’re probably more qualified than you think to get it going.
That’s certainly what I did. I saw a need that wasn’t being filled and I thought, who will do it for me? And I thought, well, I’ll just do it myself. It was terrifying, because I believed there were others doing it ‘better.’ But two years later, I’ve got my own freelancing business. It was hard to tackle the fear, but by looking at what I could offer first, I made a success of it.
I love your quote Diane! “Create the product or service that you want, but can’t find.” That is definitely the heart of this message. Instead of copying what is working for other people, we need to take a look at own needs and find creative ways to solve them. What a great service you are providing to writers! Establishing yourself in the niche market of websites for writers was a smart idea!
Good Morning Christine,
This was a perfect portion for me to read today. Mentors are great but trying to be someone we are not is impossible. I’m working with a friend who is one of my biggest mentors in the art and design world. We are contemplating a show. He suggested my style was a bit traditional and he’s definately contemporary. At first, I thought ok I’ll change my art a bit. But after a few days of thinking I realized that I’ll just do my own thing and see how it all comes together. When I’m ready to show the work to him I will show a collection of what works for me. If he likes it and we can do a show together — great. If not, Oh well! I finished my art. So, the great news is that he is pushing me and I’m thinking of ways that inspire me in my own style. I like a push from others but I’ll still be myself!
The problem is staying focused for most of us - I think that is the biggest struggle for me. As an artist, I find that I have a bit of Attention Deficit. Artists love to create things. I’ll just have to keep the focus going on my blog/interior design business as well as my art. That is my goal for myself. Freedom to live a life I’ve been dreaming about my whole life time. So, now I’d better get to work! Ha!
[…] In fact, comparing yourself to others may be suffocating your success: […]