Challenge: Stop Existing And Start Living An Amazing Life
By Christine OKelly | February 25, 2008
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We have one single chance to live our lives - just one. Why should we waste even a single moment heading down a path that isn’t what we truly desire?
For much of my life, I’ve been so preoccupied with just making ends meet, that I haven’t had a lot of leftover energy to spend on creating a life that is truly amazing. Can you relate? Now that I make a comfortable living and I’m not stressing out over money constantly, the time has come to challenge myself to take things to the next level.
Money itself does not create an amazing life. Like Tim Ferriss said in his book The 4-Hour Workweek, he was making $70,000 per month but was miserable because he had no time to actually live.
That’s kind of where my life has headed. I’m comfortable, but I don’t have the time I want to live the life I want. As part of the Freelance Smackdown, I challenged Dave Navarro’s time management coaching programs to help me find a few more hours in my day that I could devote to creating passive income streams. After talking to Dave, I got really excited about what I could do with more time. Ultimately, I don’t want more time so that I can work even more. I want more time so that I can live more.
I guess I always thought that somehow this great life would just “happen,” that somewhere along the way things would just fall into place. But now I’m 32 years old and I’m realizing that there is no waiting for something to happen and that creating an amazing life doesn’t happen without a highly concentrated effort.
Have you ever stopped for a moment in time and wondered… “How did this become my life?” If we’re not careful, we can drive ourselves right into a life that bears no resemblance to what we really desire. Is it really possible to break free of an existence we don’t feel passionate about? Do the people living our dream lives have some sort of special quality that gives them a ticket to live an incredible life - or are they just making different choices?
I think it is absolutely possible. I managed to escape one unfullfilling existence (cubicle) in exchange for a new life (freelancing), where I now have a lot more freedom and flexibility. Now, my goal is to take what I learned during that process to create a life that is truly exciting and absolutely in line with my passions.
Do You Really Want What You Think You Want?
This might sound strange at first… but hear me out. Sometimes we think that we want some end result, but we wouldn’t be happy doing what it takes to get there and to actually carry out the plan.
Sometimes, the cost of achieving a goal is higher than we’re willing to pay. If this is the case, that’s fine! It just means that you may need to reevaluate what you actually want and stop chasing goals that you aren’t willing to achieve and then being angry at yourself for not accomplishing them.
Action Plan: Find out exactly what the day to day life is like of someone living the life you think you want. Find out if this is something you’d even be happy with. Will it give you the richness of life that you are actually seeking?
Have You Been Pigeonholed into Believing That There is Only One Path of Success For You?
I remember when I was moving up the ranks at the insurance company I used to work for. I was so blind sighted about there being only one way to succeed in my career (the path that was laid out by the company) that I did not see any other options. I remember thinking that I needed to grow up and realize that adults were supposed to get a good steady job and the dreams I had of traveling the world were just unrealistic dreams. I was 26 and thinking this! The thrill of chasing promotions was fun for a while, but after I got to where I thought I wanted to be in the company, I found the experience quite empty. I shudder to think just how many people must feel like this right now.
Action Plan: Take some time off to get some perspective on your current situation. What kinds of talents do you bring to the table at your current job? Is there a way you could be helping more people with those talents than just your company? If your company is willing to pay you for your expertise, then aren’t there plenty of other people who would do the same? Can you turn the knowledge you have into a packaged product or service that could bring value to many people?
Is Your Current Life Conducive Of Achieving Your Ultimate Goals?
My ultimate goal in life is to travel around the world - and not just on vacation. I want to be able to soak up as much as I can about a place before moving on. I don’t like to be on rigid time schedules and I don’t want to spend 51 weeks of the year saving up for 1 week of vacation. Ideally, I want to integrate my work into my life so that there is little separation between the two.
As a freelance writer, I can work wherever I want and whenever I want as long as I have an internet connection. I met an amazing woman last week named Anna Dubrovsky who is really living the freelance writer’s dream life! While I could travel anywhere, it would be pretty difficult to get anything done in a hotel with 2 wild couped up kids. And because the majority of my income is made from a straight trade of hours for dollars, I must be continuously working in order to make an income. This is the reason that my next goal is to create systems that generate passive income. This type of income still requires a great deal of work, but it also allows for even greater time flexibility.
What freelancing has done for me is to give me the flexibility of time that is necessary to pursue my passive income goals. More importantly, it has given me the belief that it is possible to make a living without an employer. This is huge. If you don’t really believe that this is possible, then you probably won’t invest the time it takes to pursue those paths.
Action Plan: Ask yourself - if all things were possible, what would I be doing right now? What would be the ultimate life? Don’t assume in your question that you are independently wealthy already. If you do that, you may be waiting forever to get to a point where you are independently wealthy to ever start living your dream life. How can you live your ultimate lifestyle while still working and generating revenue?
Are There Negative People or Situations That You Need to Purge From Your Life?
There have been a few times in my life where my situation was just so non-conducive to making progress, that I just decided to turn in my cards and start over with a fresh hand. Sometimes you can adjust your current situation enough to start making progress toward your goals, but if you’re in a negative environment surrounded by people or a situation that sucks the life out of you, it may be time to walk away and start over.
There was a time in the dot bomb era of 2001 that my husband lost his job along with more than 5,000 other people in the tech industry in Oregon. We had a 1 year old and a newborn. In an attempt to save money, we moved in with my husband’s mom and her husband - bad move. They are perhaps the most depressing, soul sucking people I have ever encountered. In their presence, neither of us could get to the state of mind we needed in order to create a dream plan, let alone actually achieve it. Though we had food and a roof, this was nothing compared to the positive, kick-ass mindset we needed to pull ourselves out of the situation.
After a few days of contemplation, we decided to go back to California because California had always been a place where we felt we could achieve anything. There is just an “essence” of empowerment in the air that I haven’t found in many other places. We borrowed a little bit of money to make the 1,000 mile journey with a few hundred left over that wouldn’t come close to paying for even half a month of rent in California. Everyone thought we were nuts. Along the way, we decided that we were going to purge every person from our life that was a negative influence or who didn’t believe in our plan. That left a total of two people.
We ended up renting a little place in Playas de Tijuana Mexico that had no stove and no refrigerator. We had no furniture. But that situation, as “grim” as it was, was far better than the situation we had just left. I got a job in Northern San Diego county and would spend about 5 hours in the car traveling while he stayed home with the kids. The kids were happy as ever. At that age, they had no idea what was going on - only that mom or dad or both was always with them. After about 3 months, I saved up enough money to get us out of there and we were back on track.
Don’t be afraid of making major life changes if that’s what it’s going to take. If you believe in yourself enough, you’ll find a way to come out on top. You may be better of with less “stuff” and a more positive, empowering outlook on life than with lots of creature comforts and bunch of dull negativity.
Action Plan: Identify which things in your life are bringing you down. It may be a family member, a ‘friend,’ a boss, a coworker, or a client. What is keeping these people in your life costing you?
Embrace the Fact that Fear and Rejection Are Part of the Process
Making any major change in life is going to require taking some risks. It’s going to require that you purposefully put yourself into some uncomfortable situations. It’s just part of the process! Are you ready for that? If you’re just starting out trying to create a new stream of revenue for yourself, risk may be as simple as taking that first step to call or email someone and ask if they could use your services or if they will place your product on their shelf. If it feels scary, that’s a good thing.
Most of us are so scared of feeling fear or rejection that we just stick to our comfort zone and never try new things. When you’re just starting out, very few people will believe in you. That’s just the way it is. It was probably that way for everyone who is successful today. If you learn not to take these things personally and not internalize that negativity, so many new doors of opportunities will open.
Michele Hoskins, a woman who created a brand of syrup from her grandmother’s recipe was rejected by Denny’s buyers every single Monday for two years until they finally agreed to stock her syrup at Denny’s. Now she’s a millionaire. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen’s Chicken Soup for the Soul books were rejected by 300+ publishers before one finally agreed to publish it. What would we (and they) have missed out on if they had taken this rejection personally and given up?
Action Plan: Get out there and make mistakes. It’s going to take plenty of failures to hit on one success. Screw up a sales call. Pitch an idea to someone even if you think they’re going to laugh at you. Who cares if no one believes you are going to be a success. No one else is living your life but you. You are the only one who can decide what your goals should be and you are the only one who cares enough about your life to make them happen. If you listen to the nay saying of everyone else, you may find that you’re living a life that bears no resemblance of what you really desire.
Topics: Business Development, Freelancer Tips |
Christine, I don’t know where to start. So all I’m gonna say is that your blog posts are fast becoming the ‘church for my soul’.
Reading your posts brings me back to self-honesty, wishing, dreaming, asking questions, spontaneity, going for it, possibilities, creativity, truth-telling.
Thank you.
Wow - that’s freakin’ awesome. I don’t think there is anyone who hasn’t been shot down, humiliated, and failed when following a dream. That’s a bad feeling. But what I think is even worse is not believing that an amazing life is possible. If other people can live a life of their own outrageous design - why can’t/won’t we?
[…] is the opening line in a blog article by Christine O"Kelly, Self-Made Chick. Her article is thought-provoking and hits on the fact that only you can make your […]
Christine - your Action Plan sums it up perfectly.
It is never too late to change. The only way to do it, is to try. To take that first step. To make some mistakes.
Nothing will be perfect. But it will be better, than not trying. You may recall back from one of your January posts that I had made some business cards.
That was the start of the snowball. Today I have a test blog - I learned some of the limitations of the free services, and I have a new one being designed right now, while I learn with the free one.
Another thing Tim Ferriss says is to take mini retirements. Test drives of a sort, I guess.
Today I was home with two of my four children (they were ill with cold). It was a wonderful glimpse into what work from home could be. I know there would be ups & downs for sure. But it was a test drive.
Many of us make excuses - it is the easy way out. I know, I’ve done it. “I have four kids.” “I have no time, I work full time.” “What if I fail?”
Yes, I have four kids - they are a wonderful inspiration, when they fall they get back up again. They try anything, because they don’t know failure.
Yes, I work full time. That is good, it pays the bills while I try out other things, like writing. And I have enough time to work on this stuff after work and family obligations. I *make* the time.
So what if I fail? What if I never tried in the first place?
Surround yourself with like-minded people, or find them out here, interact with and learn from them. Help them, as they help you.
Your words are an inspiration. Thank you for them.
Four kids Brett - wow! I feel like an underachiever. I agree - kids are an inspiration. We could all learn a lot from kids. My first and second grader bring home something in their homework that really challenges them every day. Kids at this age are expanding their mind much further (relatively) and faster than most adults. When did we decide to stop learning new things?
Love the name of your blog BTW - “Fail Early, Fail Often” Congrats on starting your new venture!
Thank you Christine - you are certainly not an underachiever, nor should you feel like one!
I’m not sure - when did we decide to stop learning things? I see it every day at my “day job”, people blindly accepting that which does not make sense. And I can see why sometimes, for those who turn a blind eye sometimes excel in these kinds of companies.
And then, some of us go elsewhere… freedom of thought is a worthy pursuit.
Great post - we have much of the same philosophy! Living the life you want is about believing in yourself (confidence) and opening to possibilities (being vulnerable, perhaps making mistakes and learning from them, not getting stuck).
I took a workshop over the summer and we talked about being vulnerable, allowing yourself to make mistakes, be humiliated, etc. It means you’re open to possibilities. It really had an affect on me. So much so that the next week I was nominated for a President position on a board I sit on. I accepted the nomination knowing I probably wouldn’t win. I didn’t win and I have to say it felt amazing!
It made me realize, I’m ok, life continues, and it was a loss “for now”. I know that I can survive, learn and move forward regardless of the outcome. I say go ahead, make mistakes. That’s how I learn and grow stronger!
It’s so important for people to realize, thanks for writing about it.
That’s an interesting way of thinking Stacey… running for something that you were pretty sure you wouldn’t win. I wouldn’t have thought to do that… but now that experience is at least “real” to you. Now you have a baseline for improvement if you did want to win next time… brilliant! What workshop was that?
I took a weeklong workshop last summer on Mindful Meditation (Based on Shambhala Buddhist teachings). The president nomination I didn’t win was with a networking group I’m very involved with at home. I had only attended to meetings of the Board before I was nominated which is why I knew. It still was a good learning “to lose”. Because I’m still the same person I was prior to the nomination!
Wonderful, inspirational post, Christine — thank you! I recently realized that the life I’ve created this year on leave is truly my dream life. Now my goal is to support this life through my blog and through freelance work. So I’m working through the “fear” phase right now — thank you for bolstering my spirit today!
I can tell that you’ve put a lot of passion into your site Kristen - it’s really a great idea! What was it that gave you the “push” to get started?
I think I realized, after 15 years of teaching high school, that adolescents are too young to truly appreciate the classics, and I wanted to help adults “rediscover” them in their book clubs.
I was also ready to be my own boss! The “on stage” aspect of teaching required a ton of energy (since I’m an introvert) and was consuming every other aspect of my life. I loved the kids, but felt as if my life was passing by in an exhausted haze.
I am disciplined and love what I’m doing and now my days fly by — even though I’m working longer hours than I did as a teacher most days!
My initial challenge w/ the site was that my customers were not buying the classic kits! I’m afraid we high school teachers have made them unfortunately unappealing — or maybe people feel “been there done that.” The good news is that book clubs ARE interested in kits for the hot new reads, so I have had consistent work the past 3 months. However, the classic kits are done and are the easiest way for me to generate an income (if only they were purchased!)
Anyway… thanks for asking! I really look forward to your weekly posts!
I’ve only just discovered your blog, but I’ve already found several of your posts to be very inspiring, especially this one. I’m going through some transitions in my own life and I’m looking for more ways to increase my passive income, too, so that I can just live more. Thanks!
Christine, thank you so much for this inspirational post! I always get so much out of your posts. They are so honest and real. You pack so much wisdom into these small packages. Whenever I start running out of courage, I think of you and I feel better again.
[…] for the kick in the pants to try a starter blog, or Christine O’Kelly who challenges us to stop existing and take action. Not only these people, but the many people who comment and […]
Christine, kuddos to you and your guts! I totally heart you for this. I myself had to cut ties with most of my family because they are obnoxious self centered people who never believed into me, let alone taught me capable of running my own business.
One of the reasons I’m so happy in Australia is that I’m thousands of mile away from them and i like this just fine.
No conflict, no arguments just pure peace on earth.
Such a big part of life’s successes is about falling down and standing up again. I’ve been there, many of times and I’m stronger than ever.
Keep up the great inspirational posts. You rock!
Christine -
It’s always a pleasure to work with someone who follows through consistently.
I know from experience that sometimes you have to push through bad circumstances to get to the good .. like life’s way of ripping the band-aid off all at once.
Keep the good stuff coming.
Dave
Hi Christine - What a wonderful post. Thank you. I’ve read plenty of inspirational posts and how to posts. But you give the inspiration and show us how to do it.
I can relate to what you say about asking yourself if what you’re doing now is taking you towards your ultimate goals.
In the past, I’ve made the mistake of thinking - it’s just for now and I’ll get back on track eventually. It’s a dangerous way to live if it’s taking you in the wrong direction.
Great post Christine. I love how you wove in the personal story of moving in with your in-laws. I just had to laugh!
My wife and I have talked about me taking a lower paying job so we can move back home. It’s a tough decision, one that I hope could be eased by having some blogging income at some point in the future.
I’m in the process of trying to change careers right now. I’m not at the point where I can focus on passive income, yet. I’m actually just trying to get out of a bad situation, and into one that I enjoy.
You’re right, it is tough. I’m taking some classes and trying to get a foot in wherever I can. It’s been challenging and fun all at the same time. Of course, sometimes I think the challenge IS the fun part.
Your posts have been great. Some of them have given me a boost when I really needed one!! Thanks!!
As a Freelancer we tend to start “Trading time for dollars” which I think really is a bad deal… One of the most important decision I took was deciding to delegate.
I used to think I need to do everything, and trust me it was hard decision. With some introspection, I decided I am more of an Idea and planner guy… Its better for me to think of an idea and have team to work on it… That’s how I am looking towards working on…
About negative people : I have no tolerance for them. You gotta fire them ASAP. I am really trigger happy guy with negative people. Thankfully my parents aren’t negative (they are the only one I can’t fire)
Awesome as always, Christine! I loved the part about purging negative people from your life. A bit unfortunate perhaps, but definitely necessary if they’re holding you back.
Wow, very powerful post. I have been freelancing full-time for almost a year now and I feel like I unlocked a big secret in how easy it is to make money and start a business. Now starting any business seems feasible to me, when I was at my old job it seemed impossible. Before I started working for myself I thought you had to have venture capitalists, boards of directors, all that stuff I don’t know anything about. Now I see that all you need is to START! I now have two businesses I’m working on launching that will create a more passive income.
I completely relate to this Laura! It does feel like a big secret doesn’t it? I swear - I could have written this comment - this is exactly how I used to feel. Rock on.
Christine,
It looks like you hit a nerve! I love the style of this post. You took what could have been just a story and broke it up into tips…
… or maybe you had tips you wanted to pass on and wrapped them in a story…
So well-said, and so intimate. If you don’t already do speaking, you should look into it. The way you draw the reader in to imagining your world and teach at the same time is beautiful, and speaking is a great way to leverage your time. A “straight trade” of hours for lots of people’s dollars, looked at one way—or being an information freelancer in addition to a skills freelancer, looked at in a less money-oriented light.
That said, I remember distinctly what it was like to be all of 32 and recognizing that time is ticking more loudly than it used to. It’s a great time to sit up and say The Only Time I Can Start Is Now, while you are still young enough to have some energy to really go after what you want. I’m hoping as I advance a little further, I’ll lose some hearing so I won’t realize how loudly time is ticking now!
One of my favorite clichés seems to work here: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Congratulations on knowing that.
Regards,
Kelly
That’s a great idea Kelly! (speaking) The thought of it is a little intimidating - but then I think of Stephen Hopson from Adversity University who is a motivational speaker - yet has never heard a single sound in his entire life. What an inspiration he is.
I’m glad to have found your blog - just became your newest subscriber
Christine,
At your service! Glad to have you aboard. (Comment, Stumble, etc. often… building community there is the best part!)
I’ve only done local speaking but for what I do that’s exactly right. I think you might need larger scale speaking. Shoot an email to a couple of the Big Boys of blogging (from what I hear you are known everywhere, I couldn’t do it but I think you can) they might have good tips.
I’ve been a subscriber for quite a while. I guess I should open my mouth more often so folks will know I’m around, eh?
Regards,
Kelly
Well, Christine, another marvelous post . . . which makes me realize that it really is true that you have to be very, very, very (VERY) careful what you wish — and work your butt off — for. Because, if that wish becomes your true passion, you’ll likely get it.
But, sometimes there’s a slightly darker side to the dream . . .
I was exactly at your point in life a few years back (actually, “a lot” of years back) when I wanted to move beyond freelance success and into more passive income. In order to do that, I decided to make products and then more products, which led to employees which led to me looking around in another three years and realizing “sheesh, here’s 150 people whose lives depend upon the decisions I make, every day.”
I had become an ADMINISTRATOR of a business, albeit successful, rather than its main participant.
What I wanted? Kinda, sorta. But, it definitely led to a redefining of my dream job and how I related to it.
Oh wow Michael - thank you for sharing this story! I’ve got a lot to learn from you. I’m fascinated by stories of how people grew their businesses. Are there a couple of ah-ha moments you can pin point that took you from a guy with a couple of products to a full on company with 150 people?
Looking back, were there other ways you could have accomplished the same dream without having to manage such a large team? I guess what I’m asking… is - is there a way to be “big” and “small” (less administration) at the same time?
I really liked your latest audio blog btw - just bought that book per your recommendation
Christine, regarding going from 0 employees and a couple of products to 100s of products and 150 employees in just a few years . . . nope, didn’t have any “aha ha moments” until we were already there.
Too much heads down, building the business to really have a chance to look around and see the details of what, exactly, we were building. Kind of like, I suppose, how many of us get so caught up in the details of our lives that we don’t even notice that, to use a Stephen Covey expression, the ladder we’re climbing isn’t even going up the wall we wanted to climb to begin with.
Your question is a great one, though. And, I think we’d all do well to study Seth Godin (in my opinion, one of the smartest marketers around) and his Squidoo site/business. It’s a top 300 site, traffic wise, and yet he only has FOUR employees.
They do that by getting the Squidoo members to work with each other. So, it’s customers helping customers. Squidoo offers a platform, and the employees manage that, but all of the content comes from customers.
For your own business growth, dunno. What are you best at? With what little I know about you, I’d say marketing . . . and, since you love the Web and wordsmithing, I’d just guess that maybe becoming a publisher (in the truest sense of the word, where you’re publishing other people’s stuff) might be the best way to leverage your own skills while avoiding traps that come with formal brick-and-mortar businesses.
So, is there something to the SelfMadeChick Publishing Company? Are there books and services you could offer under that banner that are produced by others? What things are missing out there as you talk to your readers?
Just thinking out loud, so I’m probably not being much help.
Michael
Just what I needed to read. Thank you Christine for an uplifting and encouraging post. I love hearing how others made the impossible…possible!!
[…] But that’s really the beauty of it: because of the limited time we all have, you have to get creative. You have to think how to use your time to make it mean the most to you, and not just pass by. And that tenderly pushes you to live rather than just exist. […]
@ Ray - I’m glad to hear that you’re in a transitional stage too… that’s awesome. If we’re not transitioning, then we’re not really growing. It’s kind of a comforting discomfort.
@ Pat - you have no idea how often I think about you and how cool it was that I got to “see” you quit your day job and jump into entrepreneurship. I know it’s a long road - and you are rockin’ it.
@ Monika - how did I miss the fact that you were in Australia? Definitely adding your place to the pub crawl! I’d love to read a post about your escape from the “obnoxious self centered people” otherwise known as your family!
@ Dave - you and your damn awesome programs have really opened up a can of worms Navarro!
@ Catherine - totally. We think we’re just going to do something “for now” and then that turns into years…. reminds me of something I read today:
Watch your ‘Thoughts,’ they become words.
Watch your ‘Words,’ they become actions.
Watch your ‘Actions,’ they become habits.
Watch your ‘Habits,’ they become character.
Watch your ‘Character,’ for it becomes your Destiny.
@ Jason - I think you’re right - although we are always trying like hell to get past the challenge… it turns out that it’s the most rewarding part. Thanks for reminding me of that.
@ Varun - High five for having no tolerance for negative people. You are lucky your parents aren’t negative - but if if they were, Monika proves that it is still possible to fire your family and then go out and be awesome
@ Hunter - I remember learning in swim lessons that even your best friend would drag you down and drown you to save themselves if they were drowning. It is unfortunate to have to write people out of your life if they are poisoning you - but often necessary in order to save yourself. BTW - your new ebook “The Zen of Blogging” = awesome. And for free? Geez - you rock.
@ Pat R. - Thank you for this comment and for mentioning this post on your blog today. I love what you say here “Don’t live in fear.” I’ve spent whole chapters of my life in the past living in fear. Doing that can and will destroy the quality of your life. Thanks for reminding me of this. I need make sure to keep that at the front of my mind.
Hey Christine,
I was just gonna ask you…is part two of the “press release” series coming out soon? The one about distribution?
I subscribed to be notified when it comes out and I’ve been checking my inbox but I haven’t seen anything yet.
Please let me know!
Thanks Christine!
PS. ur only 32? I knew there was a reason why I was feeling you…I’m gonna be 32 myself in October this year!
Hi Robert! Thanks for asking! My goal is to get part 2 about where to submit press releases out by the end of the weekend. Stay tuned!
muchas gracias!
cannot wait!
Hey Christine
Awesome post as usual.
I got two points I want to share
with you.
You HAVE to check out the speech made
by Steve Jobs at Stanford University
about how knowing that he was going to
die caused him to change everything about his life.Here is the video.
www.SteveJobsSpeech.com
Also…
You are so right. I am 29 so not
far behind you.
I have always had something against working
for a corporation and then they put the
“smack down” on you or you have to deal with politics.
I have choosen to take the road less traveled and do my own thing for the past several years.
I am on a mission to take more people with me because I HATE the fact that people settle in life. The ONE life they have.
I think too many people are making too many decisions “emotionally” and not “logically”
and therefore creating a lifestyle that is so far from what they really want.
I tell my clients to just STOP first. Just think for a second. Be honest with themselves for a second. Then let;s work on a change.
Anyway…
This topic fires me up to no end as the older I get and I realize that this life really is reality.
Later
Dave
P.S. The Steve Jobs Speech rocks!
Holy crap Dave - that Steve Jobs speech is amazing! I was hanging on every word. This has added even more fuel to my fire…
I love that you are on a mission to take as many people with you on the road to entrepreneurship - I completely relate. I hate knowing that there is this awesome existence out there and yet many of us are scratching the surface of it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and the link to that awesome video!
@Christine - you said it, before I could say it. I’ve passed on the link to many other people I know.
Wow. I think I’ll watch it again.
@Dave - eventually most people figure out what it is that they are meant to do, the path they are meant to walk.
The sooner that this happens in life, the better. It should be a requirement at school. Then again, if the schools did that, there wouldn’t be armies of people willing to work for “the man”, so perhaps that’s why they don’t tell you to find yourself…
I. LOVE. THIS. POST.
i swear you have a hidden camera somewhere on me. you write the most appropriate posts just when i need them, without me knowing i need them, until i read them. does that make sense?
geez, i’m glad we’re friends.
Christine,
Are you available to mentor?
Thank you
Dear Christine: I came across your blog just two weeks ago and I already know that you are going to have a big [positive] impact on my life. I have bought your ebook and I think it’s going to be a big help.
Today’s blog is so timely for me, but I can’t believe you are only 32 and have such wisdom and have experience so much! I am 44 and starting out again with freelance writing after many years at home and investing myself in my husband’s career. Let’s just say that my career peaked when I was 22. Talk about waking up one day and saying “How did I end up HERE!” Once I finally get my blog going, I think the topic is going to be about starting over again in a career, gathering your confidence, your meager resume, your even more meager contacts and references, boosting your self-esteem and going for it!
Thanks again.
Laura
You’re awesome, We’re in a situation somewhat like what you described, not enough income, way too much stuff and some soul sucking people around. I have told my wife, because I now believe in what can be done and see what that dream life can be like, that I can chuck all of this, the house, the stuff and go live cheap anywhere, for awhile. Rebuild, build it right, and enjoy the experience. The kids will be better for it. The response she gave me was more like-you’re crazy. So, I just introduced her to you and this story. Thanks to for telling it so well.
Stugotz
Well, sorry to come late to this party, but I can identify a lot with this. A company I worked for went out of business and I lost my job. My wife and I lived in a tiny cabin in the Vermont countryside with no running water and borrowed electricity–no internet. We did it on purpose as an extreme downgrade to hedge against problems. It worked, and shortly afterwards we found ourselves back in a nice, comfy apartment, and I had a full-time job.
That was part of a big wake-up for me that has led to me now running my own freelance blog consulting business. Life is indeed strange and exciting.
Hey Christine,
The Lehigh Valley is truly the center of the universe. I’ve been preaching this for years, but your post really validates my argument. Everyone, everywhere, has a connection to the Allentown, PA area and eventually it will come out. I knew and worked with Anna Dubrovsky when she was an intern at The Morning Call and I have to say that she was brilliant. Ask her about her “Allentown Fair Sheep” story someday. It’s a blast.
I’ll be in touch soon re my own situation, but it was great to know that two of my favorite women writers have connected.
Joe McDermott
Hi Christine. Hi Joe. Hot dang, it’s a small world!
Thanks for the kind mention, Christine. You inspired me as much as I inspired you. I have no doubt that you’ll find a way to make a comfortable living AND have time to live the life you want. Some people think those goals are incompatible. Those are people who wouldn’t dream of writing about the Great Allentown Fair from the perspective of a sheep (see Joe’s note).
One way to make it happen is to find a way to monetize your passions. I’m passionate about travel and yoga, among other things. In the past 10 months, I’ve been paid to travel to three (very sunny) locations and do yoga.
Of course, freelancing isn’t all roses. I’m making a fraction of what I made at the corporate job I fled in ‘06. But I wouldn’t go back for a million bucks!
OK, maybe I’d go back for a million bucks, but only for half a year or so
Traveling the world with two kids does sound a bit tricky. I have two words for you (or is it three??): sleepaway camp.
Hope you’ve kicked that cold, Christine!
@ erin - damn! You found out about the hidden camera!!
@ Words Within: contact me through my contact form. I’d love to learn more about your goals
@ Laura: Your blog idea sounds like something that SO many people could relate to. Let us know when you get that blog going!!
@ Stu: Your comment give me the shivers! I know exactly where you are right now. Of course I agree with you - but I also understand her fear! Kids are far more resilient than most people give them credit for. Challenging situations do build character. It tells your kids that your family is not willing to settle for mediocre when we know that “great” is possible. Isn’t that what we want for them anyway? You’re awesome Stu - I’m looking forward to how the story turns out.
@ Michael: What a great story. That sort of thing does give you a wake up call huh? That’s one of the driving factors behind why I wanted to work for myself too. In one day, your employer can decide to let you go and then your whole house of cards can collapse.
@ Joe: No freakin way! I didn’t realize that Allentown PA was the center of the universe - but now I see your point! Some other weird coincidences have happened to me lately that have convinced me that the whole “7 degrees of separation” thing is probably completely true… wow!
@ Anna: You really are living the freelance writer’s dream! I WILL figure out a way to travel and work with 2 kids in tow. In my opinion, you win the freelancer of the year award for successfully balancing an amazing life with work. Seriously, reading your story on your site was 75% of inspiration that fueled this post. You rock!
Hi Christine! Reading about your life experiences is very inspiring. I just want to give you a quick update about my progress. I found my first client and things have been going well the past week. My first job was completed yesterday and I am about to start my second job with the same client. Once I get the ok, I’ll share the results of my work.
Cheers!
I’ve got approval to share my work. Click on my name for the link.
Zeke!
1st: thank you so much for sharing your story about how the principles in the e-book are working for you.
2nd: omg - this work you did is GREAT! I’m still listening to it as it plays in the other tab. This album came out when I was 7 or 8 and I was OBSESSED! I was all about Michael Jackson back in the day. I didn’t really understand what this whole 25th anniversary album was about. The work you did makes me instantly understand what’s going on - I want this “album”!!
Hi Christine - apologies for restating the obvious, but very NICE post.
What I don’t think many people realize is that lamenting over every detail and continuously thinking about taking the first step (towards personal freedom) is actually more difficult than taking the first step.
Yes, we all make mistakes and fail. But, once you can move beyond that fear I don’t think you will ever look at living life the same way again.
On a side note, I am working on a post about “Designer Lifestyles” and had planned to include based solely on the fact of your great ebook sales story. However, this post has firmly solidified your place
All the best,
Mark
ps - the second to last statement should read -
“On a side note, I am working on a post about “Designer Lifestyles” and had planned to include *you* based solely on the fact of your great ebook sales story.”
I must have been suffering from “addcommentitis,” which is typically associated with drinking and commenting. However, since drinking is not involved in this case, I must have had an itchy trigger finger.
Wonderful, wonderful point Mark: “lamenting over every detail and continuously thinking about taking the first step (towards personal freedom) is actually more difficult than taking the first step.”
Those are words of wisdom to live by. Just try something… just pull the trigger!
Thank you so much for considering me for your Designer Lifestyles post - that sounds so incredibly interesting!
Christine
[…] today!” In actual fact, it was that and more. While reading an awesome post about life change at Self Made Chick, I had discovered a video of Steve Jobs speaking at Stanford in 2005, and it may […]
[…] in Freelance Writing Ar… | 03.04.2008 - 2:02 pm This letter was inspired from Christine at Self Made Chick after a comment I made about my parents and how they are “obnoxious and self centered […]
Hi Christine,
As per “request”, I finally wrote that Letter to My Parents
A business associate I love and respect referred me to your site and I am happy and most grateful. You speak from the heart and have helped to add fuel to my post-cubicle dream. Thank you…
All the best!
I’ve only just found this blog from another blog that linked to you and to me also. I love this post - your attitude mirrors my own. There are so many people out there that simply accept the drudgery of their current lifestyle as set in stone and just never question it, never thinking that there is something more or even that they deserve something more.
Hi Caroline – your comments are so true. I am a strong proponent (and practitioner) of pursuing personal freedom on a daily basis. While it is not easy, I could never go back to the corporate life (or cube) again. That is a conscious decision I made YEARS ago.
However, I am not sure people even know how to step out of their own drudgery? Sometimes when you are in a negative situation it seems it takes less energy to stay there, as opposed to making a positive change. On top of that add a car payment, mortgage, kids to take care of, etc…
Anyways – I always like to hear/read success stories and you and Christine seem to be doing very well in your quest for freedom.
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