How to Harness Fear to Fuel Your Success
By Christine OKelly | October 3, 2007
When I was a sales trainer I used to tell trainees:
If you want to be successful, you’ve got to learn to EMBRACE the feeling of fear and failure because you’re going to feel this before you become successful. You’ve got to LOVE to hear the word “no” because you WILL hear it many times before you hear a yes.
Two weeks ago, I made a conscious decision to push forward on several of my business goals with vigilance. But as I started to draw toward the finale on one of them, I became keenly aware that I was STALLING. If I wasn’t aware of these classic symptoms of stalling, I could have easily mistaken them for legitimate excuses.
Flushing Out Hidden Fears
I truly wasn’t sure what was causing all of these stalls – though I was pretty sure it was rooted in fear. Logically, I want this venture to succeed or I wouldn’t have put so much effort into it. But I could see the signs that I was holding myself back from achieving my goal to launch.
I got really “busy” with other work: This left me with “no time” to work toward my big goal. But when I critically examined my work load – I wasn’t actually busier, I was just taking a longer time to finish projects that I could have completed faster.
I kept finding reasons to leave my desk: Every time I would sit down to work on the project I would feel hungry, thirsty, need to make more coffee, remember that I had to go to the store for something, etc, etc, etc. This is BS. If you’re really in the zone, none of these things would get in myway.
I got sick: I RARELY ever get sick and I firmly believe that I got sick I was challenging many internal fears. This could have given me a reason to lie on the couch and forget about the goals until I was feeling better, but I chose to push forward anyway.
Never underestimate what your subconscious might do to keep you away from a fearful situation. The power of fear is not something to be underappreciated. Fear is a deep rooted, physiological mechanism that keeps us from hurting ourselves. Challenging it is no simple feat.
Pushing Into the Fear
Instead of sitting around trying to figure out what it was that was holding me back, I decided to set actionable micro goals that would finalize the launch of this business. What I found as I began to peel back the barriers leading up the launch of the business, something astonishing happened.
As I finished the second to last task that kept me from launch, I stepped away from my computer and walked into my closet to get something and fear thoughts that I hadn’t asked myself before began rushing through my head like roaches scattering from the light.
- What if I can’t deliver on the orders?
- What if I’m missing an important legal aspect and get sued?
- What if it is a success but I’ve priced it too low and end up in huge debt over this?
Now I had found the real fears. The fears that were making me sick. The fears that were keeping me occupied with “busy-work.” The fears that were limiting my success and keeping me in my comfort zone.
There is a real physiological reason why we call complacency a comfort zone. Pushing out of it hurts – both physiologically and emotionally – but you have to get past it in order to GET THERE.
Right now, there is something extremely uncomfortable that you are avoiding that is getting in the way of your vision of success
You may not even know what it is that is holding you back. In fact, I would venture to say from this experience that you probably DON’T know exactly what it is that is holding you back if you haven’t peeled back the layers enough.
Instead of trying to figure out why you’re stalling, set some mini tasks and force yourself to accomplish them. Complete them even if you’re kicking and screaming inside. Work through exhaustion and discomfort and eventually they will be finished and you will be in the moment of your success.
If you can just get past these fears, they will eventually be behind you and they won’t bother you any longer until you’re ready to push out of your new comfort zone and take your success even further.
If you can learn to embrace fear, it can work in your benefit. Push through fear and facing it head on will position you’ll be miles ahead of most people in the world who will let the discomfort and terror of fear stop them.
Topics: Business Development |
17 Comments »
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This is a great example of using fear as a form of leverage in order to accomplish what it may usually hold you back from. Many see it as a terrible liability when trying to reach goals, but likewise fear can be a valuable asset to fuel you to further ventures.
And the key to it all lies within one of your first sentences in this post. And that is following your business ventures with ‘vigilence’. Otherwise, the fear will usually overcome you. Be willing to chase your ventures violently!
As someone who has just talked themselves out of one job, and pretty much out of a career where they work (well, actually, no - I’ve talked myself into a new career, it’s just not one they have where I am at the moment) I can definitely appreciate the fear aspect right now.
I have had a few little thoughts go through my brain about things I could do, but they seem so small and I tend to focus (perhaps too much?) on the bigger questions that I probably am unable to answer at the moment (e.g. Why am I afraid?) and not do anything.
So…here goes, I shall set myself some micro-goals towards chasing the job at another company that I have applied for, which actually is a step towards the career I want to build and then hopefully I will have a ‘closet moment’ as well!
Wow! This is exactly what I have done. As I read through your “symptoms” I saw myself in nearly every one. I’ve been conscious of this and that conciousness has helped me fend it off so that my success is inevitable. But I haven’t seen anyone put it into words as well as you have, Christine. Great stuff, serously.
I think knowing what you want is the key. But knowing how to get it is a totaly different thing. I never feel fear in my professional life. Everything is only a challange, or another step to my goals.
I have learned to relax and take a steady pace over everything else and have found that works better. But then again I never take on something that is over my head or what I think I am capable of doing.
In short, if you know who you are, you won’t feel fear.
Ok I have changed my mind a bit…..lol…..with my contest right around the corner, a new header being built for my site and a code wrighter pricing out a downloadable link for me I am crapping my pants with fear that I may be wasiting a ton of money, time, and my hopes doing what I am doing. See if I dont do the contest everything is possible right. If I do it and fail then I am back to the drawing board and broke. What to do. Well first I am scrolling back to the top and re-reading this post…lol
Collin - that is the most incredible set of comments I have ever seen! I completely understand what you are feeling. Pushing outside of your comfort zone and taking risks often seems manageable until you are in the moment - and that’s when the you really feel it.
I can’t tell you how much money I have spent on ideas that have gone no where. I think everyone reading this has. Some work. Some don’t. That’s why I mentioned in the post that you’ve got to learn to appreciate and respect failure because it will happen. Success is a numbers game.
Regardless of your outcome, I don’t think any of it will be a waste if you analyze the situation afterward and learn from it. I think in this case it is better to try and fail than not to try at all.
Best of luck to you! No matter what - taking this risk is a success in my book!
I just finished a post at my blog about letting go of the past and thought I’d catch up on my favourite blogs and as usual got engrossed in your words of wisdom Christine. As a fan of Tim Ferriss his words stay with me at all times these days - “what is the worst that can happen?”. If it all goes wrong will I die? In business probably not - you may lose some money (Collin) but so what, if you don’t try you won’t make any and there’s always the next project. As a freefall sky diver apprentice maybe!
Don’t reach old age and look back thinking I wished I’d…
Good post! Fear is such a strange, but powerful emotion. It’s interesting how many people are actually afraid of success, and that is what holds them back. Good idea to harness it for your benefit.
christine, you’re on fire this week! my reaction to launching in two weeks was part ‘awesome’ and part ‘holy crap, what am i doing?’. after my first meeting for the website a few months back, i told my dad i was a little bit scared. his response? ‘good. fear is a great motivator. i’m glad you’re scared, it’s a good thing.’ and collin’s posts made me smile. collin, you are human. i was beginning to think you were a robot after your first bit.:)
I’ve beat myself up in the past and used the “I’m lazy” excuse, when really I was afraid. Fear of failure is a real stumbling block for me. I think I tend to set the bar too high at times. Thanks for your timely post. I will remember to push past the fear because even if I fail, I will learn from the experience.
Christine.. What a great post. i think everybody reading the post can exactly feel himself/herself in these situation and if you can really take over your subconscious which always ask you to be in comfort zone , you will be winner life .
First time reader, found your blog via Micheal Martine’s, and it’s amazing. I love the thought that fear can hold you back from success. I used to have that, but then I read Peter Jones’s book Tycoon where he says that whatever you are doing, there is no such thing as failure, there is only feedback.
Jack - What a powerful philosophy! I hadn’t heard of this book, but it is definitely on my “to read” list now!
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Christine, thank you so much for this article I am right now doing my very best to push past my own fears and the funny thing is, I am writing about fears itself
The thing is though it will bring closer to a bigger goal and I keep distracting myself and I’ve known all along that it was fears that was my trouble.
It helps to know that you have faced your own fears and got past them.
Cheers!